Thursday, October 23, 2014

Thursday Log

Nothing quite like starting the day with a jolt of realization that the alarm didn't go off and your teenager just missed his bus. After that whirlwind, I feel I truly earned this cup of coffee. I think the bright side of both of us oversleeping is that it means that I fell asleep last night. With this week's track record, any sleep is a WIN. Monday night earned me a grand total of 45 minutes of sleep. Yes. 45 MINUTES. Tuesday then earned me the title of "Fun Mom."

In an effort to save a little money, I turned the heater off yesterday morning with the intention of turning it back on before bed. (the house was plenty warm and the sun was shining - there was no need to have the heater on!) Good intentions only make a difference if you follow through, though. Currently sitting in a house at 58 F. Typing with chilly fingers makes for interesting typos.

My baby turns 9 tomorrow. We don't need to talk about that much more than to recognize how hard her milestones are for me. I am absolutely proud and grateful for having a healthy and amazing daughter in my life, but it still hurts my heart to know how quickly she is moving through these years. Each year that passes is one less I get to have her in my home, and one less I get to be a parent to a CHILD, and not all teenagers. It's not the worst tragedy in the world, of course, but it's still important in my life and makes my heart clutch up. It's real and something that will never come easily for me. Add to that milestone birthday the fact that Patrick has been in NJ this week AND I have my period AND I have been ridiculously sleep-deprived, and you will get a slight grasp on just how whacked out my mind currently is. Chocolate would be much appreciated.

Can you blame me for wanting to experience more of this stuff? It's almost over. It's hard to accept. The harder I try to relax and live in the moment, the more quickly it seems to fly. If I don't pause and look back, I forget that these moments, these 2014 moments of a 15, a 12 and an almost 9 year old are ones I treasure just as much as the younger ones.

sniff sniff

The heater seems to have finally made a difference, my coffee is cold, and my nose is running. Tracey - 0  Nostalgia - 4,378

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