Sunday, February 10, 2013

My heart hurts...

I feel as though I have dozens of gaping paper cuts on my heart from every time we placed a submission into the "No" folder.

"Ouch. That one hurt," I said to Melisa, and she to me, many a time throughout the deliberations.

Submissions with enormous stars on them, that were BRILLIANTLY written and beautifully delivered and OBVIOUSLY perfect for the show, were slowly and regretfully delivered into that manila folder.

"There just isn't enough time. We can't have a 3 hour show..." we told ourselves this, but it cuts us to know that by doing so, these stories; these personal, tenderly written, cautiously shared stories were pieces of people's hearts and lives that MATTER. They matter, and we know it.

We heard it. We felt it.

And it is physically painful to know that while our decisions will undoubtedly cause immense joy and pride within those who are selected; we will also be causing some of the auditionees incredible sadness and disappointment...

I cried on the way home, picturing the beauty that was within that folder, and knowing that there was nothing we could do to shine a spotlight on the beauty of every single jewel of each word that was shared this weekend...

6 comments:

Melisa said...

I'm so glad you wrote this. I have been trying to find the right words and I couldn't have said it better myself. xo

TheNextMartha said...

Awe. Hugs. That must be really tough to do.

Kathy said...

Thank you for this Tracey. I don't know which folder I ended up in, but I am grateful for the opportunity to audition either way. I really appreciate you giving us a window in Melisa and your world right now, as all of us who put ourselves out there to you both did yesterday and today. I can't speak for everyone else who is waiting to hear the news, but reading how you felt after your experience this weekend helps me to make peace with how I feel right now.

LceeL said...

That must be hard - I'm glad it's not me that has to go through the decision making.

Marianne said...

Okay, I am withdrawing my request to be you in my next life. Tone arms or no. Good luck & thanks for putting yourself through this for a terrific show. Now let me know where you want me to drop off that pony and/or case of money.

Beth Aldrich said...

What a beautifully written letter/post. If I were to receive a rejection letter like this, I'd be so honored :) Or, if I were to receive a yes, I'd feel the same. You have such a gracious way of making us all feel so proud!
xo

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