Friday, February 25, 2011

My Week in Quotation Marks

"Just because tampons fly through the air really well does NOT give you the right to make them into rocket launchers!"

"I can swear as much as I want! When you pay the bills, you can swear, too. Until then; you are NOT allowed to chase your brother singing about the 'crapload of laundry' Mommy has left to finish, comprende?"

"I do NOT like your brother better than I like you, but today, you sure do make that difficult to say with an honest heart!"

"No playing with maxi pads, either!"

"Why is there glitter in my freshly washed bra? No, seriously. There's glitter in my bra. Who did this?"

"Put down the cat, Corinne! That yowling and thrashing he's doing? That means he doesn't like it!"

"I know, 'Tom Sawyer' sucks. You've told me. Repeatedly. Now read it."

"If you're going to sing the song, sing it correctly. It's not 'I'll teach your mama to crack eggs.' Trust me on this one."

"Hey, 5 year old: bring your momma her wine glass..."


"Is it Friday yet?


Unknown said...

Guess what? It's Friday, but for mommies that doesn't matter too much. Have a great weekend.

Joy said...

I'm glad mine is not the only household that sounds like that. Particularly about the cats and the little girl in the house. However, no flying tampons or pads yet. I did lose a Diva Cup once (bathroom cabinet was open) to the young cat, that apparently dragged it downstairs to play with.

Lisa Noel said...

sounds like an interesting week!! maybe the cat put the glitter there!?!?!? :)

Kelli @ writing the waves said...

hahaha! I am imagining the flying tampons and maxi pads everywhere. And glitter in your bra? Is nothing sacred???

Stacia said...

I'll raise my wine glass to you in a big "I get it!" ... as soon as my four-year-old brings it to me. =>

Alexandra said...


Adorable post.

My household, too, consists of sentences I never DREAMED I'd say to another human being,

"You canNOT jump on people's heads, OK???'

That's just one example.


Jenn @ Beautiful Calling said...

Oh how funny! It's amazing to listen to what you say. I am constantly saying "don't eat your purse" and "stop picking your nose".
Life is good :)

Jenn @ Beautiful Calling said...

Oh how funny! It's amazing to listen to what you say. I am constantly saying "don't eat your purse" and "stop picking your nose".
Life is good :)

mep said...

I enjoyed each and every one of those quotes! Here's one of mine from Friday, "Is that DOG POOP?" I said that while (trying to herd my kids into van for trip to Jewel) my son stuck a brownish finger in his mouth. Yes, it was dog poop.

Fiddledeedee said...

The tampons. They do keep them occupied, don't they? Very funny stuff. And good luck getting the glitter out of your bra. It's nearly impossible. Don't ask me how I know. :)

Julie said...

Thanks for restoring my sanity. I've found glitter on the front steps, the top of my husband's head, and recently on a back corner of the mattress. I first thought it was bed bugs and freaked out. I realized that bed bugs probably aren't uniformly square and glittery.

we are reilly said...

Oh my gosh -- this is HILARIOUS! I NEEDED this laugh today! :) Thanks again for keeping motherhood 'real'.....

nmaha said... crack me up so bad I can't type

CJ said...

I so wish your blog was a sitcom!

Shari said...

Thanks for the Monday morning laugh. Is it too early to ask "Is it Friday yet?"

Jenn said...

Great post!

I laughed at most of those because they sounded so familiar.

Living in a house with 3 boys it seems I'm always on top of them about something!

Hope your weekend was as relaxing as you were hoping it would be!

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