Friday, July 16, 2010

I always feel like, somebody's watching me...

Ever get the feeling that someone's watching you? I was lounging by the side of the pool, soaking up the sun and counting kid heads: 1,2,3,4 (we had a spare that day). 1,2,3,4. "Yes! I saw that jump. It was amazing. Yes! I see you holding your breath for longer than ever-ever-ever. That was also amazing. (1,2,3,4, 1,2,3,4...)" I felt that... that feeling that you feel when you know someone is noticing you. You know; that feeling.

I began to surreptitiously scan the possible voyeurs as I continued to count 4 bobbing heads.

Hmmmm.... There's a mom from down the street. Nod and wave but don't act too interested because this mystery must be solved and it surely can't be her that is noticing me! Moving along the opposite pool wall for suspects...

Aha! A dude. A dude with sunglasses. A dude with sunglasses SMILING in my general direction! Heh heh. I totally rock. Me in my new bathing suit and sunglasses that sit slightly askew upon my face ever since Corinne stepped on them. You sexy 34 year old mama, you! Look! He can hardly stop smiling at me! Doesn't he notice that I have 3 kids (and a spare) to care for? (oh yeah: 1,2,3....4! Still 4. Whew.) Apparently my hotness is such that it supersedes the downer that a gaggle of children can impose. You smokin hot girl! You... Wait.

Damnit. His kid. He's smiling at his kid in the water. Which would explain his tendency to give a goofy thumbs-up. Ugh...

Still.

SOMEone is looking at me! WHO?!? Who can it beeeee?!?!?

(1,2,3,4)

Turning head to the left, I come face to face with a sopping wet and bedraggled 4 year old. He's staring. At me. At my CHEST, to be more specific. At my almost B-cup, barely covered bathing suited chest.

Ahem.

I shift uncomfortably against the pool wall only to have him deliberately move around in front of me again. And he's still staring at my chest.

Well, Hey! At least a little kid thinks I'm hot, right? I mean, it's something! SOMEone of the male gender is noticing me at the pool! Some little boy is adoring me and probably envisioning me as a princess in a tower or someone to be rescued. I will most definitely reside in his mind and live on in his fantasies as he matures as someone he might fall desperately in love with. I could be making a huge impression on this kid! Be alert! Be kind!

"Excuse me?" he lisps.

"Yes, sweetie?" I gently smile back.

"I weeelly, weeelly wike your necklace! It's soooo pwetty!!"

"....."

"Um...Thanks. Thanks kid. I, uh, I like your Super Mario shorts. They're... cool."


Sigh.

1,2,3,4...


Truth be told? It is a cool necklace.

13 comments:

LceeL said...

At 4 years old, bewbs are just a faint memory of food. Sparly necklaces are definitiely more attractive - given that they're at that "OH LOOK!! Something Shiny" stage of their lives.

It was definitely the Dad.

Cheryl Pope said...

Cool blog. Did you make the necklace? A lot of kids can tell when things are handmade and they like it!

beth - total mom haircut said...

Ha! Awesome. This would be my child staring at you to tell you how pwetty your necklace is, by the way.

Gettysburg Mom said...

That's me in public! 1234......1234....1234.

Christina E. Pope said...

That's a lot of heads to count. You def have my respect. I put my two girls in bright pink swim hats to make it easier for me to spot them. It's tough, lol. Funny post. I know the feeling of thinking someone's looking at you. Unfortunately, it's usually an old creepy man. I guess us moms just have to settle for the occasional "you look nice" from the hubby :-)

Deb said...

Dude. That was hilarious!

Tonya said...

you are too funny!

Kami's Khlopchyk said...

You are hilarious!

anymommy said...

You're a total hottie and, I do EXACTLY the same counting thing.

Debbie said...

That is so sweet!
I'm at the age now where if anyone is looking at me I immediately worry that I have something between my feet or maybe I have worn my underwear outside my clothing.

CaraBee said...

I went to the pool with my daughter and spent the whole time in a half panic trying to keep track of her one little body. I would go crazy with four.

Mel said...

Good to have a sense of humor when your a mom! I love your blog!

Kristi said...

Ha! And that's totally me wherever we go: 1,2,3. So funny, Tracey.

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