Monday, July 20, 2009

Reading the Fine Print

Motherhood has an overabundance of "Fine Print" that no one encouraged you to read when you first murmured, "..we're thinking of starting a family..."

Fine print like a ten year old who flips OUT on you in the car. And you honestly don't know why. And you proceed to remain calm until, well, until YOU flip out. And you set a FABULOUS example for the 2 younger children who are witnessing this Ultimate Flip Out Session, ensuring yourself a future of at least 10 more years of people Flipping Out on you. Stellar.

Fine Print like having to watch a 3 year old who can quite LITERALLY give her Papa a heart attack if she continues to leap from the swing at the top of its arc at the park. Which she WILL continue to do because, well, because she is a reincarnated acrobat. It's in her nature to fling herself from high places.

Fine Print like having a heart attack of your OWN as your 7 year old dashes from behind a bushy tree across a very, VERY busy street WITHOUT LOOKING THE ENTIRE TIME!! (In situations like this, I find that the extremely tight ear hold is a good method for Getting Their Attention NOW. You can't bruise the ear and it opens the canal up for a good, strong scolding.)

Fine Print like having the POWER of the PARENT to turn the wrong way into your neighborhood so that you can keep listening to "Come On Eileen", even though your son is squealing that he hates that song.

Muwaaahaaaahaaa!!! Payback is a beeeyatch, kiddo!

I drove around the block. I went suuuuuper slow. I cranked that volume and SANG IT BABY! Super cool groovy chick, was I.

Though the song wasn't over, we creeped into our driveway where I proceeded to keep the song on (while holding Justin's arm back). Using the interior lights as a strobe, Evan and I ROCKED IT OUT. (Corinne, as is typical of my children, slept through it all).

All of the day's frustrations were forgotten as Mommy and kids be-bopped with abandon...

Sometimes, the Fine Print isn't so bad.


Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

That video is huge!

And don't you just love the sexiness of his armpit hair? Rockin Irish in the 80's, baby!


anymommy said...

A good bee bop session fixes everything. And wow, you guys have a really big tent! That post was hilarious.

Laanykidsmom said...

I started singing Lady Gaga's Pokerface in the kitchen until my 11 year old said, Mom that song doesn't have the most appropriate lyrics. Oops.

Lis Garrett said...

LOL! Just another post where I'd swear we're living the same life.

I do the same slow-driving thing with this Billy Joel song:

Gettysburg Mom said...

In our van, it's always Atlee begging me to leave the radio on so she can just hear the end of this song... please? Because they don't play it all the time any more, and it's one of her favorites.... pul-eeeeeeeeeeeeze?

Stephanie said...

My parents used to do that song thing to me all the time! They'd also tell the lamest joke of all time and laugh about it for hours; keep bringing it up and up...argh!

I cannot WAIT until my children are old enough for James and I to that.

JC said...

you are the coolest mom ever!!! lol

Allison said...

so true!

right now I am still lucky - the kids think When I turn up the radio and belt out a tune....I am a rockstar! - I think I gotta couple more years before they think I'm stupid.

Me said...

I...LOVE...that song.

And, when my kids are flipping out on me for no reason in the car (well, my 3yr old, my 20mo old rarely does so) I turn the music up REALLY LOUDLY so I cannot hear her. Um. Not all the time, but when I'm tired and grouchy and can't stand it.

Don Mills Diva said...

It's THAT kinda fine print that makes all the other fine print bearable, no?

CaraBee said...

Good for you! That sounds like perfect revenge.

Anonymous said...

I totally do the slow drive. And my kid complains about my singing. But you know what? I'm the one with the driver's license. And I listen to a heck of a lot of kids music. It's really only fair.

And now I'm pretty sure I'm going to be singing "Come on Eileen" all evening. :)

Leslie said...


My kid has gotten to a point where she kind of likes our music right now.

I'm waiting for the hormones to kick in, then she'll decide that she hates us all and everything we like!!

we are reilly said...

OMG -- you CRACK me up girl! Never thought about the ear hold -- gotta try that one next time (no brusing is good!)

Keep it real, girl! :)

mom2three said...

One of my favs...a must to rock out too!

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