Thursday, June 18, 2009

Ships in the night

I can be grateful for my husband's job while still being depressed that I don't see him, right? One doesn't have anything to do with the other. Because these hours? This opposite schedule, passing on the stairs to the bedroom with a hug and a "Hey, how ya doin?" isn't cutting it. At all.

Believe it or not, I actually LIKE my husband. Love him, even. Kind of hard to get that feeling across when one of us is sleeping and the other's awake. I think it'd be easier if he were just relocated, rather than home but not available. I have all of these conversations that run through my head, all day long. I want to talk about everything and have to wait all day long. I usually pounce on him as soon as he wakes up, babbling on about bills and kids and dishes and schedules...

Yeah. He doesn't take too kindly to being woken up to that. Only problem is that we don't have any time alone to talk about grown-up stuff. To do grown-up stuff. And on those brief moments when we are both awake and the kids are asleep (about once a month)? I generally have my period or he is extremely exhausted from 2 jobs and 3 kids and debt and life...

As I said earlier today: Being a grown-up can really suck.

15 comments:

Leah said...

It is a tough thing to have to deal with but it can be done.
I did it for 2.5 years when I worked one shift, DH worked another.

Big Hugs!

Serena said...

Tracey I am so glad I just discovered your blog. My husband just finished the entire med school process and is finally a surgeon. It is great that he is finally making money, but I've hardly seen him the last 4 months. I'm lucky if I see him two hours out of the day, which isn't fair to our kids either. Point is, I understand where you are coming from. On a separate note, I came across this video on YOU TUBE earlier, and it definitely made my frown turn into a smile! If laughing will change your mood - this is great mom humor! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iURGJpoEcn0

Stephanie said...

This too shall pass. I'm sorry it's tough right now, but you'll get through it.

CaraBee said...

Seriously, why was I in such a hurry to grow up?

Alex Elliot said...

That must be really rough. My husband had to travel a lot last month and I resorted to emailing him about everything because at least it was a way to communicate with him.

Kat said...

Ugh. That just really sucks. :(

Sophie, Inzaburbs said...

Of course if you don't have a choice you don't have a choice, but it doesn't mean you have to like it.

We always say it's the character building times such as these that really ... um ... build character?

Hugs and I really hope things will change soon!

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

Oh my God, that video is hysterical, Serena!

Kristin said...

That stinks. I am usually counting down the minutes until my hubby is home at 5pm. Hope you can get a date night...eventually.

Tonya said...

Oh Tracey I am so sorry that is rough. Just think this is only a season and soon it will pass to the next and things will be better again. Just trying to help think positively though I know how hard it is right now.

Kristi said...

Ah, yes indeed. Being a grown-up does suck. My husband and I are having a similar issue. We're in the house together as much as any married couple, I suppose, but with the constant demands of the kids, we're often like "two ships passing in the night." And then there's the fact that he sleeps on the couch to keep an eye on Nicholas in the swing All.Night.Long.

So, I totally understand where you're coming from.

Gettysburg Mom said...

I second Stephanie. Just keep repeating it as needed, "This too shall pass. This too shall pass."

I've also heard that if you pick up a bottle of wine a night habit, it's easier to go to sleep. :)

Don Mills Diva said...

Hubby works on film sets so I'm so used to the ships passing in the night style of marriage that I get kinda irritated when he's around every evening.

Like now.

Sigh.

Allyson said...

Oh I'm so sorry you are dealing with this! {{{BIG HUGS}}}

beth - total mom haircut said...

Ok, the answer to your opening question is: Yes, absolutely. This sounds incredibly difficult. I want to think of some sort of cute, clever way for the two of you to leave messages for each other throughout the day to communicate, but I know nothing is comparable to actual face time. But it's temporary. I guess keep reminding yourself it won't always be this way.

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