Monday, March 16, 2009

In which I discover a few unsavory tidbits about myself...

I am such a horrible mother. I mean, what mom actually gets ANGRY at her kid for coughing too loudly? Huh?

But it is SO. Annoying. And right behind me. And the hack-hack-hack is usually followed by a whine of "you don't understaaaand how much this hurts..." which then leads into me gritting my teeth, biting back my words, before I utter "You don't even want to KNOW what kind of pain I've suffered, kid!" because what kid wants to hear about childbirth while he's trying to do a spelling list and math problems? Eh?

Yeah.

So, eldest child is coming down from the horrible, hacking, coughing, puking, cold that he has had since Thursday. And, right on cue, Corinne awoke this morning with a sore throat, warm forehead, and pitiful cough. Perfect!

Patrick and I muddled through the government's insurance (All Kids. I've heard good things about them, for anyone who's interested) and it seems as though the whole family will be covered for free right now. Our first bonus for no income!

I had a couple of moments of incredible gratitude and eye-opening introspection this weekend. First, a bloggy friend was very generous in an offer to help clothe my boys for the summer. Thankfully, we are not without clothing (yet!) so we are covered (HA!) for a while. But it was tremendously sweet. (And I appreciate it, dear friend. I'm sorry if my email was anything but grateful.) I have never been in a position where I actually NEEDED the help like this, and it's coming to me as a bit of a shock. I've never had problems receiving freebies before. If anything, I LOVE free stuff. It makes my day! But it feels different when you are on the true side of needing charity. It makes me uncomfortable and twisty inside...

Speaking of charity, my dad is a huge worrier when it comes to his kids. He wants to protect and care for all of us, and I know that this job situation of our family is bothering him waaaaay more than one would assume. He gave me several bags of groceries last night and I had to try hard to not cringe, knowing that they weren't because he just happened to overbuy groceries (a common problem for him. He loves to grocery shop.) but because he wanted to help us financially....

Swallow thy pride, woman...

A big eye opener for me is that I actually HAVE pride about this. I never realized it until the offers for aid began to pour in. And while I am more than grateful, and will accept the help that we need, I am getting a first-hand taste of the difference between "hand-outs" and "hand-ups".

THAT said, my Cub Scout pack is organizing a food drive this week. If you have any spare food in your pantry, or are going shopping, please consider helping out at the food pantries. They run low at this time of the year (heck, at EVERY time of the year!) and could use the supplies...

11 comments:

Mom24 said...

Just remember, and I'm sure you've been there too, it feels good to help someone also. By letting people help you, you're helping them. Not in a smug, see how good I am kind of way, but in a genuine, feels good to help when we can, makes it easier to take help when we need it. There's nothing wrong with that.

Hope the kids are better soon, and what great news re: insurance. Woohoo!

Leah said...

Yeah for the insurance!
Swallow that pride woman, I bet as soon as things turn around for you, you are going to be that person who helps anyone you can.

OHmommy said...

I remember how much it hurt my mom to give us toys for Christmas, from garage sales in July. She would store them. We never had any clue growing up. We were just happy to be together. I didn't realize for years well into elementary school that people didn't have spam for lunch.

Swallow that pride. This time shall pass. Now we just laugh about our second rate toys... and so does my mom.

Tonya said...

You are a strong women and you will come through this just fine. I know you will. I've been on the government insurance too. It will be a great feeling to come off of it!

we are reilly said...

I used to get yelled at by my dad when I had the 'hacky cough' -- then, it would be followed by my mom yelling at my dad, "She can't help that she's sick and has a cough" -- it was a fun time at my house! :)

Remember: pay it forward....there will be a time in your life when you'll be able to help others in your life they way your friends/family are helping you....so, take charity and turn it around one day to help others.

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

I sympathize with you on the cough thing, there is only so much the nerves can take!
And on the needing thing too. We have been in that position, and it suck and it does hurt the pride, but that doesn't mean it is bad. We learn from it and we allow others to have the joy of blessing us. 3 family members came to our aid in the last month, unsolicited but much needed and appreciated. Even though I whined to my hubby and told him to give it back. I was too prideful. But when you don't have a choice, you don't have a choice.
Praying for you and your lovely family, I know God will provide for you as he has us.

Hannah said...

I have to agree completely with Mom24 ... you know how good it feels to help another person, so try and remember that when somebody wants to help YOU. They will feel great about doing it, and you will benefit.

I'm praying for you guys often!

Kami said...

I am sure it is hard to accept help, in fact I know it is because I always have trouble accepting it. But I sure am quick to try to give someone else a hand. Remember it is temporary!!! I for one am happy you have so many people who care and are right there willing to help, if need be.

:)

anymommy said...

It doesn't need to be said, but you are SO not a horrible mom.

I know how hard it is to accept help, but Mom24 is 100% right, it feels good to help someone you love or admire. Take a deep breath and let people help you, I have no doubt you will return the love or pay it forward!

Lis Garrett said...

:-)

Hugs

:-)

I agree with Mom24.

(and WHY is my verification word 'coffins'?)

Beck said...

It's HARD, but you'll get through this and things will get better. This is just a season and as hard as it is to feel this way now, you're very lucky to be surrounded by people who want to help.

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