Tuesday, March 24, 2009

He wears his heart on his sleeve...

He held me so tightly this morning... Rather than a squeeze and a pat on the head, he let me hold him a bit longer and we rocked back and forth. I smoothed his hair back and was glad to see the tears from breakfast had dried...

"But you said Daddy would be awake for breakfasts!"

"I'm so sorry, baby. We're still working on the schedule. He misses you, too..."

His devastation was palpable. As are all of Evan's emotions. Like the rub-on tattoos he can't bear to part with, Evan wears his feelings right there for all the world to see. You would think that this level of high emotions would mean that he throws tantrums and screams. Well, he DOES do that, but only when he's angry. The trait that truly breaks my heart is his ability to hide in a corner and weep silently. Honestly, there have been parties and playdates when I have looked around and said "Where'd Evan go?" only to finally find him hiding under a blanket, hot tears soaking his pillow.

"Baby, what's wrong?!?" After repeatedly asking and hugging and asking quietly and hugging again, he will allow me a tiny piece of his version of the Worst Thing Ever, usually involving a friend slighting him or calling him a name.

"I felt like my heart was just breaking, Mama!"

And he does. He really does...

I'm telling you, he's got a future in something expressive. Be it writing or photography or the most sympathetic Dad in the world, I can picture Evan doing it well...
That, or a stand-up comic.

God. SEVEN. He will be 7 years old in just 8 days...
A random lady in an elevator actually gushed over him at this age
and called him a "beautiful creature"...
Creature? Um, like, something from the black lagoon?


Some numbers are harder for a mother to wrap her head around. Is 7 really that much older than 6? No. But it's soooo much older than I ever really imagined my Evie to ever be. That whole middle child dilemma rears its ugly head again...

13 comments:

Kelli @ writing the waves said...

Awwww...he sounds like such a sweet kid. They grow up WAY too fast, don't they?

Yellow Beads said...

OOOO!!! :))

Allison said...

He sounds very sweet. It is so hard to juggle the night schedules. patrick will have lots of quality time when he sees the kids. Good luck with everything.

He probably shouldn't have been called a creature at that age, but if he is anything like my 7 year old, He can definately seem like a creature sometimes now.

Kat said...

Aww. What a little sweetie. Sounds like my Tommy. :)

CJ said...

My son is also very sensitive and feels not only his hurt, but that of those around him. He has a tender heart and an unbelievable love. Thanks for responding to my post, I responded to your comment in my comments. Try saying THAT ten times fast!!

Marie said...

*sniff* *sniff*

OK, you made me cry! Just let him stay home until Daddy wakes up, and Daddy can take him to school!! Please Mom!!!

Stand strong Tracey, it's a trial of huge proportion but things will be better for it. If nothing else, you are ensured of the depth of love your boy has for his dad. That may come in handy in a few years!

Anonymous said...

It's so hard, when they really feel things so deeply.

Around here, it doesn't seem OK for boys to show their emotions. And I am not OK with that.

Evan looks really sweet. There's one to be proud of!

Anonymous said...

That's a beautiful post. It's nice to see a mom who's raised her son with raw emotions and lets him express them. Sadly, you don't see that a lot these days!

anymommy said...

Happy seventh, Evan. It's a good quality, to let your emotions show. He'll never need therapy - at least not for suppression ;-)

Anonymous said...

I love how you talk about your children. LOVE it!

Laski said...

Tracey--why must they grow???

The husband asks why I hold onto JR each time he extends his arms . . . why not?

Those hugs, those grabs, those I-wanna-hug-and-touch-you mommy moments will be gone before I know it.

I love, love that he has a heart that is so accessible, so him . . . you are right. He is destined for having/giving a lot of love in his life. No doubt!

Tonya said...

I know what you mean about that age. Monkey will be 7 in a few months and it is so weird.

Anonymous said...

It seems to me that learning to express emotions is one of the harder lessons men learn in life, and here is is, not even 7, and he's a master!

Thanks for stopping by Sweet Life!

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