Monday, August 20, 2007

If I could put time in a bottle...

Ok, that last post's title was from "Into the Woods." I loved that musical. It was the show of my freshman year in high school, but I was so freakin shy that my audition was for crap and I didn't get a part in it. I loosened up that winter and scored parts in the rest of the shows, but I soooo wish I had been able to be IN that show. Rather than just helping with sets and what not. ANYWAY, it's a really great play. And that song is sung by the witch to Rapunzel, asking her why she'd want to run off with the prince, where there is danger and hurt, when she could stay at home with Mama witch, safe and secure. Bored to tears and lonely, yes, but not being hurt by wolves and bad men. It's a common mother's wish, I'm sure. And then we realize that by taking away the wolves and dangers, we are also taking away the excitement of the world. The thrills, joys, and bliss of love...

It's a tough line to walk, this motherhood line. What is enough freedom? What is too much? Am I holding you too close, or do you need to be squeezed a little longer?

Trying to freeze time is impossible, yet we all attempt it at one time or another. Right now, with Backyardigans in the background and my boys BOTH watching it attentively, with the baby asleep and the rain falling... with my coffee getting cooler by the minute and me wondering what to cook for dinner.... This day will seem so far away someday. Someday, it will seem like eons ago. Someday, I will forget exactly why it was that I felt so stressed at times...

I cannot imagine being able to keep my house clean, with no fingerprints on the tv and cracker crumbs in the carpet. I don't want to, honestly.

On an aside, what is WITH me and song titles for posts, lately? Seriously. I need to stop.

13 comments:

Jen, Fred, Jennifer or Mom said...

ah, Tracey, dear.....the motherhood tightrope walk.....I'm not sure it ever gets better...seems the older they get the thinner the rope and you don't know whether to hang on for dear life or let go and let them soar to their own discoveries.....hugs.....

Beck said...

So poignant! I well know that feeling of wanting to keep them home and small and safe and bored witless, but I guess I won't actually build them a big tower and stick them in it. Not today, anyhow.

painted maypole said...

yes, these are times I would like to save in a bottle. And Jim Croce and Stephen Sondheim are worthy title writers everyday.

Type (little) a said...

..if words could make wishes come true, I'd save every day till eternity passes away.....

Sorry, in my head now.

I loved Into the Woods. I saw it on broadway when I was 11.

My favorite song is "Agony"

Tonya said...

I totally feel like you do in this post. They grow so fast and yet sometimes so slow!

Kailani said...

I think all we can really do is stop for a moment and take a look around us. Maybe we can't freeze time but hopefully we can remember it.

kailani
An Island Life

New Mama's Nest said...

What a beautiful post! So often, I wish I could pause and just stay in these moments forever. It's often the silliest or the most mundane that seem so powerful!

Penny said...

This post (the tightrope bit) reminds me of my favorite quote, which is,

"a mother's place is in the wrong. So enjoy what you choose and stop thinking there is one right answer. Because that is wrong as well."

Totally.

Mike said...

As I always tell myself: "Every parent has a great plan about parenting, at least until the first tantrum."


Mike
http://somethingaboutparenting.typepad.com/

Life With All Boys said...

I know. My middle son starts 1st grade tomorrow and I just wish I could send him back to kindy. I think this all day thing is as hard as sending them on their first day. I just want them to stay home forever where I can take care of them....

Miss Hope said...

I'm so guilty of rushing through what is called my life sometimes. And I have to make myself stop and savor and treasure the moment I have been given so that it isn't lost to me forever.

And I'm almost certain that I will end up on medication of some kind because I have a teenager that is pulling from my grasp more and more every day, yet I still have that sweet three year old who chokes me with his hugs while he smothers my face with his kisses. The emotional see-saw is a killer sometimes.

Melissa said...

It is a huge balancing act and sometimes it feels like I've dropped EVERYTHING! You're right... someday we'll look back and miss these times. I guess we just need to enjoy them now, eh?

Elle*Bee said...

I got a chuckle about how you write about finally getting the courage to try out for a play. I'm probably the only Drama/Communications graduate from my college that manage to avoid stepping foot onstage! I'm glad you were able to overcome your stage fright. Maybe I'll add that to my list of things to do now that the Baby is in kindergarten: audition for a play. NOT! ;-)

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