tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post4226945316684016850..comments2024-03-26T14:55:06.079-05:00Comments on just another mommy blog...: How much is too much?tracey.becker1@gmail.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09606831315390042198noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-18467836656758646562007-09-12T08:20:00.000-05:002007-09-12T08:20:00.000-05:00Thank you ladies. I guess I can understand the dra...Thank you ladies. I guess I can understand the draw to a stranger. I can talk more comfortably in front of a group of strangers than in front of a group of family, so I imagine that there are similarities to the feelings of "nothing to lose" when talking to a stranger.tracey.becker1@gmail.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09606831315390042198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-9295714193009618932007-09-12T02:24:00.000-05:002007-09-12T02:24:00.000-05:00I know that when I lost my twins (one stillborn, t...I know that when I lost my twins (one stillborn, the other dying shortly after birth), especially at the beginning, I would sometimes feel such an overwhelming grief that once or twice I poured my heart out to complete strangers. This was very unusual for me, because generally I'm a very private person.<BR/><BR/>But I couldn't talk to my family because, even a few weeks after the twins' death, they expected me to be "over it." I pulled away from many of my friends, partly because I felt jealousy that their children were alive, while mine were dead. But also my friends seemed uncomfortable around me, as though my misfortune was somehow contagious. They didn't know what to say to me, so they just stopped talking to me.<BR/><BR/>I say all this, because I can completely understand how someone could say things to a stranger that must have seemed overwhelming and strange. Sometimes all the people you're closest to are tired of you being sad all the time or scared of your grief. You really feel like you have nowhere to turn.niobehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08315267454529454063noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-71414102909977827382007-09-11T23:48:00.000-05:002007-09-11T23:48:00.000-05:00Wow. All I can say is that I just stumbled upon y...Wow. All I can say is that I just stumbled upon your blog just this second from a link on another blog, which I had also stumbled upon. <BR/><BR/>I have been dealing with infertility for about 4 years. Still no babies for me. We're now pursuing adoption. I have to tell you, I've never been so "open" with people (even complete strangers) my whole life. My only explanation for this woman (and myself) is that this infertility (call it what you want, IVF, Recurrent Miscarriages, inability to conceive) is the most difficult, life-sucking, relationship-shattering, stressful thing I've ever encountered. The loss. The feelings of failure. The disappointment. It's hard to come to terms with the whole idea of it and for some odd reason, it kind of helps to talk about it even though sometimes it's inappropriate. I think it just comes bursting out because for most women dealing with these issues, it's the only thing they can think of most days. <BR/><BR/>I would say that this woman considered you (if only for a moment) a shoulder to cry on, someone who might be able to give her just a little bit of comfort, or a little bit of understanding. I'm glad you handled it the way you did. I'm sure it seemed weird, but sometimes desperate people just have a need to feel better.Zerchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00923030834341771592noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-25863281709352115212007-09-11T23:38:00.000-05:002007-09-11T23:38:00.000-05:00You handled it well.I think that it's easier to op...You handled it well.<BR/><BR/>I think that it's easier to open up to someone you know you'll never see again (especially if you have NO ONE you can really talk to.) <BR/><BR/>I'm sure that just by lending an ear and shoulder you've done more for her than you'll ever know.<BR/><BR/>Your so thoughtful and understanding. She's quite fortunate to have had YOU as a volunteer-paired-up-mom.Rubyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10098941764877979227noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-54931150052301664332007-09-11T15:46:00.000-05:002007-09-11T15:46:00.000-05:00she could obviously tell that she had someone will...she could obviously tell that she had someone willing to listen who seemed to care. there's definitely a lot of hurt in her life, and that's a big burden to carry... it was probably nice for her to be able to unload it for a while. talking through things helps with the healing process. while it was an information overload for you, you responded the right way. she just needed someone to listen. sometimes i get to talking, feel comfortable, and end up telling a whole lot more than i ever planned. just feel honored by it-- you know she felt comfortable and "safe" with you. :)LaughterThoughtshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08279225521337129832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-26091136186986375252007-09-10T17:25:00.000-05:002007-09-10T17:25:00.000-05:00On one hand, I personally wouldn't divulge that mu...On one hand, I personally wouldn't divulge that much info to someone I didn't know well and didn't have a whole lot of down time to talk about it. However, maybe she just needed someone to talk to.<BR/><BR/>Kailani<BR/><A HREF="http://islandlife808.com" REL="nofollow">An Island Life</A>Kailanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07096922069154035797noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-16278743555412705972007-09-10T14:05:00.000-05:002007-09-10T14:05:00.000-05:00I don't see how you could have handled it any diff...I don't see how you could have handled it any differently. <BR/><BR/>Perhaps it's a by-product of our overly busy, and often overly technical lives - there seem to be fewer opportunities for actual face-to-face interaction. And let's face it, you were a "captive audience." I think you handled it well.Elle*Beehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10604921872829122749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-49274124912613772212007-09-10T11:05:00.000-05:002007-09-10T11:05:00.000-05:00Sounds like you handled it ok. I think as women we...Sounds like you handled it ok. I think as women we tend to be more vocal about what is going on in our lives then we should sometimes :) I know I have been guilty of sharing too much! But I don't think I would of shared in that situation but who knows maybe it was the anniversary or something like that triggered her thoughts about her babies?!?!Tonyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15816260131470363977noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-54077450060875736662007-09-10T08:18:00.000-05:002007-09-10T08:18:00.000-05:00I have found myself giving off too much informatio...I have found myself giving off too much information a time or two. It's like once I start talking I just can't shut up....Life With All Boyshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16189240322245837211noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-38355376039679279472007-09-09T23:36:00.000-05:002007-09-09T23:36:00.000-05:00I'd have to offer that sometimes when I meet someo...I'd have to offer that sometimes when I meet someone and we are comparing family notes it is easier to just spill all, than wait for all the questions. It's a weird kind of...'I don't really know you so I'm just going to give you the nitty gritty because your probably going to ask anyway'. <BR/>And while those questions are all part of the conversation sometimes it seems invasive to be asked instead of offering. And, frankly our family is a story- not just run of the mill.Triciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14581392888793642746noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-30661762817694167962007-09-09T16:16:00.000-05:002007-09-09T16:16:00.000-05:00My first thought was maybe she was just really com...My first thought was maybe she was just really comfortable and at peace with her whole experience that she can talk freely about it to whomever, but then you said she was in tears so I guess that's not such the case. That does seem to be a bit of TMI to be sharing w/someone you just met and in that situation, but maybe she had been hurting for some reason and really needed someone to talk to. I probably wouldn't be able to share that much w/someone, but some people are more open I guess. I think you handled it well, what else could you do.Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02441176684416139172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-26904194638952728892007-09-09T15:15:00.000-05:002007-09-09T15:15:00.000-05:00some women (and men, for that matter) have a hard ...some women (and men, for that matter) have a hard time making friends -- I think she just felt really comfortable around you and she may have secretly wanting to become 'friends' with you and have a relationship with you, outside the sale.....<BR/><BR/>You did a good job of consoling her, but don't feel out of sorts --you were the person she needed at that moment.we are reillyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12344372194275588340noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-90327842463465737592007-09-09T13:02:00.000-05:002007-09-09T13:02:00.000-05:00although it does seem a bit inappropriate, sometim...although it does seem a bit inappropriate, sometimes emotions come out at inappropriate times. Maybe seeing all the other moms and children that day was making her sad, and it just all came bubbling out. She may have gone home and said to herself "gosh, I'm such an idiot" Or maybe she's an attention seeker. But I would choose to go with she just needed a listening ear, and it sounds to me like you did the best you could.painted maypolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06446625015003854710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-74863469010980672032007-09-09T10:45:00.000-05:002007-09-09T10:45:00.000-05:00Here's my take and I could be wrong, but, it sound...Here's my take and I could be wrong, but, it sounds like the girl probably has no one else to lean on and maybe she did view you as a potential friend. I know when I was lonely and the mother of one, I talked to people in the check out line at the grocery store, although, none of those women were told about our reproductive issues. You did the right thing and she probably felt better unloading it.andriahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07936122859722777328noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-4248147105670382432007-09-09T10:05:00.000-05:002007-09-09T10:05:00.000-05:00Some people are just very open. I think you handl...Some people are just very open. I think you handled the situation very well. I'm not sure what I would have done. I don't think there's any more you could have done. I guess you could have stopped her and told her she was making you uncomfortable... but... um... that seems a tad insensitive. So, you handled the situation very well in my opinion!<BR/>And I'm glad you got some good things! Hopefully you'll find a good deal on a snowsuit before winter gets here. :)Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14908930035466483151noreply@blogger.com