tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post1267706446442149627..comments2024-03-26T14:55:06.079-05:00Comments on just another mommy blog...: Question for the weekend readers:tracey.becker1@gmail.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09606831315390042198noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-41266191339573689122010-10-04T09:03:24.738-05:002010-10-04T09:03:24.738-05:00I think I would say something along the lines of, ...I think I would say something along the lines of, "I saw the situation and agree that my son went over the line. However, he seemed to be reacting to your son also crossing a line. While I understand the need to intervene when it gets to this point, I wasn't really comfortable with how it was done. In the future, can you come and get me and we can handle it together."<br /><br />Honestly, though, if someone was speaking to my kids in a way that upset them that much, I wouldn't be so concerned about preserving the friendship. My kids' feelings come before any adult's.Katiehttp://fairygodmartyr.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-1935148593444264422010-10-03T17:36:52.328-05:002010-10-03T17:36:52.328-05:00I pretty much agree with the other comments...the ...I pretty much agree with the other comments...the only thing I know I'd want to do, is go talk to the dad. Not all up in a huff and angry, but I'd want to talk to him if my kid was in tears b/c he thought his friend's dad hated him. I'd just ask him what happened b/c it really upset your son. Tell him he looks up to him and that his actions upset him. Then go from there...if he starts spouting and flipping out, well, I'd be limiting the kids' interactions. But I'd also mention that kids will be kids and sometimes they get hurt when they don't listen and that it applies to ALL kids whether we want to believe it or not..lol...<br /><br />It really stinks that it's people you're close to, but we gotta keep our kids safe (emotional or physical), that's our job as parents...but I also agree, if you're gonna play rough, someone WILL get hurt, sometimes you pay, sometimes you don't. <br /><br />Sorry it's such a sucky situation.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-90835861277654457352010-10-03T12:28:46.821-05:002010-10-03T12:28:46.821-05:00I think I'd just send the "offending"...I think I'd just send the "offending" kid home to be dealt with by his or her parents. A phone call to you would have done the trick. Kids are kids...they fight, fall off things and generally act like yahoos...and that is the way it's supposed to be. <br /><br />Your poor son. I was once spanked by an aunt, and to this day, I am annoyed by the memory of it. Even then, I knew she had no right. Discipline belongs with the parents.*~(boom)~*https://www.blogger.com/profile/02348537949678244654noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-34638095772150116332010-10-03T10:55:54.719-05:002010-10-03T10:55:54.719-05:00I wish I could help, but you've only worried m...I wish I could help, but you've only worried me for the future. My son is only 2 and we don't have many "friends" to play with yet. <br />Yelling at another person's kid though?! Yikes! <br />It's stinky that your son now feels the neighbor dad hates him, but maybe tell him he doesn't and he'd be nice if he didn't rough house so much with his kid?! See! I'm no help right?! ;)<br /><br />http://lisafergus.blogspot.com/Balancing Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07016984945595572163noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-91617419505777045892010-10-03T10:39:49.771-05:002010-10-03T10:39:49.771-05:00Ugh, that situation makes my tummy hurt. I have n...Ugh, that situation makes my tummy hurt. I have no idea how to handle these situations. If it were me, I'd probably just let the kids not play together for a few days until it kinda blows over and everybody forgets about it????Elizahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12734034764993399351noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-88536487871110747992010-10-03T06:00:51.101-05:002010-10-03T06:00:51.101-05:00A tough one! I am a nonconfrontational person, alm...A tough one! I am a nonconfrontational person, almost to a fault. And, it gets a tricky when it's neighbors, huh? I'd probably talk to the neighbor the next time the kids are playing and mention how "we've" got to do something about this rough play in a very casual manner and see where the conversation goes. You're poor son, though. It's SO sad to see one on your children feel not liked by an adult. Good luck!Shannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14736030753445026881noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-14071820066644889592010-10-03T05:33:38.467-05:002010-10-03T05:33:38.467-05:00The neighbor yelling at your son and causing him t...The neighbor yelling at your son and causing him to cry is something that needs to be addressed. I might raise my voice at my own children sometimes (and they know what to expect from me), but I have *never* yelled at my kids' friends or, hopefully, caused them to feel they are not liked by me.<br /><br />I agree with Rebecca - you don't have to be confrontational about it, but you don't have to just let it go for the sake of keeping the peace.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07570437173288571934noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-23126895183176414182010-10-02T23:08:27.128-05:002010-10-02T23:08:27.128-05:00I'd have a chat with your neighbor about setti...I'd have a chat with your neighbor about setting some common limits on the type of play and acceptable consequences, and who is to implement those consequences if/when the limits are broken, so that the boys have the same rules and boundaries from house to house, and can still enjoy playing together. Good luck!Joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09695354700835113117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-45542871723951262932010-10-02T21:00:23.836-05:002010-10-02T21:00:23.836-05:00There's no way to comment succinctly.
We'...There's no way to comment succinctly.<br /><br />We've had a very similar situation with our neighbors. Our younger boys are a month apart and always play together. We have gone on long weekends with this family, babysit, hang out together, etc. <br /><br />Because of our proximity, the kids tend to treat each other more like siblings or at least cousins. Which definitely includes fighting - verbally and occasionally physically. <br /><br />The parents will sometimes raise their voices to our sons. The father makes no apologies but the mother will frequently say "oh sorry, it's like I'm talking to one of my own kids."<br /><br />For the most part, I've taken the stance of kicking their kid out of our yard if theirs is causing the trouble and try and stop rough-housing before it goes too far. I'm like you; my mantra is "when you play rough, someone always gets hurt and sometimes it's you." Their take tends to be 'never hit' which just isn't realistic when you're talking about boys.<br /><br />During one episode, I just handed it off to Andy to let him speak to the dad "man-to-man" to explain our philosophy. Basically, I've never been a boy. <br /><br />In short, I do swallow a little to keep the peace. I still don't know if it's the best way to go.Manic Mommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02397835927560496425noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-66134514392797898642010-10-02T21:00:22.814-05:002010-10-02T21:00:22.814-05:00You can discuss this without being confrontational...You can discuss this without being confrontational. And since your boy was in tears, it MUST be addressed. So, invite them over for coffee and home baked cookies, and have a convo. Let them know your son was upset at being "talked to" like that and it scared him, and since you know they wouldn't want to scare him you thought they should know. It can go very well if it's handled like that - in a social type setting, without making it seem like that's the whole reason you invited them. <br /><br />I avoid confrontation like the plague, and so this is how I try to handle things, especially when I can't risk rocking any boats. Usually works pretty well and things get settled and feelings stay unhurt.<br /><br />Good luck!!Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04725046248727891093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-27794596196630168342010-10-02T19:23:07.715-05:002010-10-02T19:23:07.715-05:00Tricky one! Honestly, I am not confrontational eit...Tricky one! Honestly, I am not confrontational either, and since you don't know exactly what happened, it would be hard to confront anyway. Unless my kid had been hurt or threatened in some way, I would probably let it go with the neighbor, for the sake of keeping peace. However, I would (and I have done this) say something to my kid about maybe taking a break from that particular neighbor kid, or playing differently with that boy in the future, just because you never know if tempers will flare again. Good luck!Clarehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07088277258702907519noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-83975118057679971912010-10-02T19:05:51.109-05:002010-10-02T19:05:51.109-05:00I am super old school so take this for what it is ...I am super old school so take this for what it is worth. When I was little all of the neighbors would yell at us kids if we were doing something they thought was inapporpriate. That is how I grew up. So, if a neighbor was yelling like that at my kid (and I knew he was partially at fault) then I would just tell my kid that now they know what upsets that neighbor and not to do it again. <br /><br />I do feel badly for your son, because I know it is hard to be the biggest kid in the neighborhood, and I DEFINITELY would not yell at someone else's child like that (i would probably just tell him he needs to go home or something), but if you are friends with this neighbor I would just let it go. Holy run-on sentence!!!!<br />Anyway, good luck!Kathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14339665205284492242noreply@blogger.com