tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post7553544258999211031..comments2024-03-26T14:55:06.079-05:00Comments on just another mommy blog...: Still a long way to go...tracey.becker1@gmail.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09606831315390042198noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-13048816837091419832008-06-21T18:14:00.000-05:002008-06-21T18:14:00.000-05:00I think that before the next play date, you have a...I think that before the next play date, you have a little sit down with the guy and tell him that if your daughters are going to play together, he's going to need to keep his racism to himself when he is in your daughters presence. Ask him if he thinks he can do it. Wait for his response and don't let him off the hook. You'll have put him on notice and given him something to think about. If he agrees to do it and your girls become friends, you may start him on a path toward reconsidering his views just by keeping his commitment. His response will tell you whether or not future play dates are worth contemplating.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16340828297971476075noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-34066975556908452362008-06-07T12:23:00.000-05:002008-06-07T12:23:00.000-05:00So many layers to your neighbor's comment - and to...So many layers to your neighbor's comment - and to his ignorance. Racial, ecological, socio-economic - wow, he's an equal-opportunity offender!<BR/><BR/>FYI, the 9th annual Ricky Birdsong Race Against Hate is taking place in Evanston on Sunday, June 22. More info at http://www.ywca.org/site/pp.asp?c=erLOK1PJLsF&b=2708165Cindy Feyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05299125143192251898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-71487023464081372792008-06-03T21:23:00.000-05:002008-06-03T21:23:00.000-05:00Oh...uh...wow. I would have said everything I need...Oh...uh...wow. I would have said everything I needed to say with the shocked look on my face, followed by a "I can't believe you just said that!"<BR/><BR/>Advice is hard to give on this, since I don't have to live near him. But in that situation I probably would go out of my way to avoid him, and if we did run into each other, keep the conversation as light and short as possible. I feel bad that his daughter will be raised around that kind of hateful speech.Christinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07345875955750219033noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-78451773627885055732008-06-03T17:03:00.000-05:002008-06-03T17:03:00.000-05:00OMG!! I am so shocked! And I can see why you were ...OMG!! I am so shocked! And I can see why you were shocked into silence (or at least shocked to the point of not being able to say what you REALLY wanted to say). That's just awful - I had no idea there were people like that out there!<BR/><BR/>I haven't been in a situation quite like yours, but I have been in a situation where I had to "discourage" my son from playing and befriending a particular child, because I did NOT agree with his parents' lifestyle. I think I would do what a previous poster suggested and try not to encourage the friendship. Besides, she is still so young that she won't be begging to go there for a sleepover. If you steer her gently in another direction (and perhaps another park!) she will happily make a new friend instead, and be none the wiser.<BR/>Good luck!Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17333898332336018736noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-45274880072012349982008-06-03T10:57:00.000-05:002008-06-03T10:57:00.000-05:00ugh! What an awful situation to be in! I have no i...ugh! What an awful situation to be in! I have no idea what I would do! You don't want to miss out on a friendship for Corinne, but you're right- who knows how much that attitude will rub off on his kids. But since they are so young now, she might not be even asking to play with so-and-so yet. You don't have to do anything to encourage the friendship, maybe just hope there aren't many opportunities for get togethers? I know that is sad, and I feel bad for his daughters, but what else can you do when your beliefs are so opposite each other.Michellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02441176684416139172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-56149677480565886622008-06-03T10:19:00.000-05:002008-06-03T10:19:00.000-05:00Oh wow! I have no idea what I would have said... ...Oh wow! I have no idea what I would have said... probably something like you did.<BR/>I knew a kid who was raised very racist. We lived in an area that was predominantly white and so I had no idea of his attitudes. Then one day we had a family move into the area that was African American and wow. I couldn't believe the ugly things that came out of his mouth. It was dumbfounding. I didn't totally end the friendship, but hoped that some of my attitudes would rub off on him... maybe you could have playtime only at the park or in your home so that you can moniter what is said?? I don't know what I would do... :SMelissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14908930035466483151noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-48776978566854412832008-06-03T09:42:00.000-05:002008-06-03T09:42:00.000-05:00That is so incredibly offensive, ignorant, and rac...That is so incredibly offensive, ignorant, and racist. That said, it shocks me not so much that a person still holds these beliefs in 2008, but that he felt comfortable enough to share such hateful thoughts with someone he doesn't even know.<BR/><BR/>You've gotten some great advice here, so I'll just agree with everyone else: keep Corinne far, far away from that family.Kristihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03792735154830422231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-38822325668976795172008-06-03T08:59:00.000-05:002008-06-03T08:59:00.000-05:00*picking jaw up from floor*Okay for starters you h...*picking jaw up from floor*<BR/><BR/>Okay for starters you handled that WAY better than I would've. I'm pretty well known for not putting up with that kind of language, so I very likely would've told the guy that what he said was inappropriate, disrespectful, and completely unacceptable. No words minced. I will *not* have my children around someone who thinks that way.<BR/><BR/>As for the problem of his being your neighbor... well, at our old residence, our next door neighbors couldn't stand me. Because of my tendancy to speak my mind. So I can't help you there. But I can assure you I would not allow my child to play with theirs. It's not the child's fault, but they will learn what the parents preach, and again, I will not have my children around that. <BR/><BR/>I'd end up being "wave from the driveway" neighbors.Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04725046248727891093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-17990067413521109682008-06-03T08:29:00.000-05:002008-06-03T08:29:00.000-05:00I have lots of responses going on in my head, but ...I have lots of responses going on in my head, but they wouldn't solve anything! I would just try to be as polite as possible when you run into this parent, but not go out of your way to set up plans. I would encourage you to have the little girl over at your house if your daughter wants to play with her. My parents have very different political views than my husband and I. When we saw a marriage counselor a while ago (to deal with extended family issues) she suggested saying things, "In our family we do not believe that" and change the subject. Basically the point is that your emphasizing it's your family so you're not attacking the other person, but at the same time your kids see you standing up and saying that you're not okay with it. Later, you can address it with Corrine. I know she's pretty little, but we feel with our kids that it's practice for us even if they don't fully understand what we're saying.Alex Elliothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08567976812466320977noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-30058687686367005502008-06-03T06:55:00.000-05:002008-06-03T06:55:00.000-05:00Oh my, Mum-me.. keep it coming, people. I apprecia...Oh my, Mum-me.. <BR/><BR/>keep it coming, people. I appreciate the help!tracey.becker1@gmail.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09606831315390042198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-29890754198381411482008-06-03T06:43:00.000-05:002008-06-03T06:43:00.000-05:00I wouldn't have known what Spics and Shiners were!...I wouldn't have known what Spics and Shiners were! <BR/><BR/>It's a hard one - I guess maybe if you let him know you don't approve of racism he may try to keep away from you and your daughter in the future? That would be one way of avoiding too close a friendship developing between the girls.<BR/><BR/>Oh I feel so sorry for his girls. I didn't think anyone was racist like that anymore, except Great-grandma who still uses phrases like "I'm sweatin' like a nigger going to an election." I have to forgive her - she's 87.Mum-mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10964065407491663047noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-16256090267681590182008-06-02T21:55:00.000-05:002008-06-02T21:55:00.000-05:00I am speechless. I can't believe he would say that...I am speechless. I can't believe he would say that. Honestly I have no idea how I would of handled that but it probably would of been about the same. <BR/><BR/>I don't think you are over reacting about the girls being friends. I would have the exact same thoughts after that encounter. I hope it works out.Tonyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15816260131470363977noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-55997311237711443342008-06-02T20:56:00.000-05:002008-06-02T20:56:00.000-05:00Wow. I don't think I have encountered anything lik...Wow. I don't think I have encountered anything like that in a very long time. <BR/>I really have no idea what you could possibly say to him. I am the queen of missed come-backs.Mighty Morphin' Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03244716672872427829noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-75616946278968685092008-06-02T19:16:00.000-05:002008-06-02T19:16:00.000-05:00While I am of the opinion that political correctne...While I am of the opinion that political correctness can get more than a little ridiculous, the statements this man made were WAY out of line. There is a difference between spelling "woman" with a "Y" in place of the "A" (asinine) and being a racist jerk (awful). I would agree with Andria in how to handle the situation. Kids are exposed to enough cruelty in the world as it is, they don't need it to start this early, and they don't need to be exposed to opinions like this man's when they are so young and vulnerable and soak up everything like little sponges. I feel sorry for this man's kids, hearing that crap their whole lives. They have little chance of not falling into that horrible line of thinking themselves. Thankfully, however, you learned of his prejudice before you allowed your daughter to play at that home, so you don't have to deal with the aftermath. I think he did you a favor by saying what he did; now you know where NOT to let your children play.Gucci Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06098520618133302969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-866008690003146362008-06-02T17:13:00.000-05:002008-06-02T17:13:00.000-05:00Because of where I live, I know MANY, MANY racist ...Because of where I live, I know MANY, MANY racist people - and generally I handle it by either a) getting up and physically leaving the conversation or b) saying "I haven't found that to be true. Why are you saying that?" or c) saying "Yeah, yeah, I heard you being so shocking, ADOLF." It depends.<BR/>Sigh. People are jerks.Beckhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13953517447164263617noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-9353263972695731832008-06-02T16:03:00.000-05:002008-06-02T16:03:00.000-05:00Maybe if you see the daughters out at the park, en...Maybe if you see the daughters out at the park, encourage them to play with Corinne and give them something positive to hear and see. If she's invited over, just tell them no thanks, you're too uncomfortable with it because she's too young to be away from home, but you'd love to have the kids with you. If they do come over and talk the same, just let them know that isn't tolerated in your house. <BR/><BR/>But, man, avoid that dude like the plague! IF you can.andriahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07936122859722777328noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27598861.post-17893674312812305502008-06-02T15:06:00.000-05:002008-06-02T15:06:00.000-05:00YIKES!No advice, I would have been just as stunned...YIKES!<BR/><BR/>No advice, I would have been just as stunned. I hate not having a comeback, I'd never want them to think my silence = agreeing with them.Type (little) a aka Michelehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18344395100374466233noreply@blogger.com